Help Me
by RoryAceHayden147
Summary: Hermione struggles to deal with what she did during the final battle. Will she be able to forgive herself? AU because I changed a few details. Read and review!


**A/N:**** Well here is another one-shot written by yours truly. I hope you enjoy reading it! Please read and review!**

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.**

**Help Me**

It was done.

The war between Voldemort and his Death Eaters and Harry and the Order of the Phoenix along with everyone who believed in the light, was over.

Harry defeated Voldemort for the last time. He will never come back as he had done before.

However, Voldemort wasn't the only one that died. So many people died in that war; so many good people. Yes, there were the bad too, but theirs was inevitable. Innocent or guilty, it really didn't matter. For many lost their lives and won't be going home.

Dumbledore, Hedwig, Tonks, and Snape were among those that died. Remus Lupin, the last surviving Marauder, died and was finally able to reunite with James and Sirius, his brothers in every way but blood.

The dead died at the hand of another, though. Everyone who was gone had someone to thank for that. Dumbledore had Snape, Voldemort had Harry, Bellatrix had Mrs. Weasley, Sirius had Bellatrix, James and Lily had Voldemort, and Dolohov and Lucius had me, Hermione Granger.

I had their blood on my hands; the hands that would never be clean again. I felt dirty, and I just couldn't get myself clean. I tried to justify their deaths in my head, but I kept going back to '_I killed them. Without a thought I just ended their lives. How am I any better than them, when they had done the exact same thing to other human beings?_'

I knew what I did, but I just couldn't grasp the fact that I actually did it. Everyone else was celebrating the triumph we shared and mourning the lives that were lost, but I sat alone in shock of what I had done.

After what seemed like minutes, but was actually hours, I felt a hand creep up onto my shoulder. I looked at the hand and let my eyes wander to the face of the person who disturbed my thoughts.

Harry was crouched down next to me and gave me a worried look. "Hermione, what's going on with you? You've isolated yourself from the rest of us."

I looked back down to my "filthy" hands and replied, "Harry, so much is wrong, that I just can't find the right anymore."

He seemed to stiffen at my response and was at a loss of words.

"I know that I should be with everyone else and celebrate that it's finally over and help those who lost their loved ones grieve, but I can't. I literally can't, Harry. I'm the cause of some of the people who are grieving. I'm the reason people won't see their father or husband ever again and I'm not okay with that. I can't handle it. I wasn't supposed to kill anyone, Harry. That's not who I am. I'm a murderer!" My voice rose as I spoke and ended up in a scream as I said the last few words. Tears started to well up in my eyes and began to trickle down my face, but I made no move to wipe them away.

By then, I attracted a crowd. They stared at me, not fully grasping what had been tearing me apart.

Finally, Harry spoke. "'Mione," he gently, but firmly, grabbed me by the chin and forced me to face him when he realized I wasn't looking at him, "Hermione, what happened out there was unavoidable. You did nothing wrong. Don't you ever think that for one second you are as bad as those Death Eaters, because you aren't even in the same realm as them. You did what had to be done. You saved so many people. Yes, you did kill a few, but 'Mione, you did it because you had to save so many people. Look around you. Look at all the people who were there. Look at all the people you saved from a most torturous death. Look at what you did for the greater good. Hermione, you are one of the strongest people I have ever met. You did what everyone else couldn't do. You _saved _them."

I just sat there and sobbed. I was so pathetic and all I could do was cry. I was so confused with everything that was going on in my thoughts and emotions, that I just couldn't do anything else.

Harry took me into his arms to comfort me. I knew that he was just doing that because he felt he had to. After all, I was his best friend and that's what friends did. I knew he would have rather been with everyone else and just get a chance to enjoy being free of every suffocating worry; but here I was ruining all of that for him.

"You should go, Harry. Go and relax with everyone. You don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine. Please, just go."

"No. Hermione, you are my best friend who went through everything with me. I'm not about to abandon you. You always stayed by my side when times got rough, and I 'm not about to go and leave you. No, Hermione, that's just not something I can do."

I pulled out of his embrace and walked a little ways away from him. "I'm afraid I'm not the best company right now. You really should go."

Harry stood up and strode right up next to me. He grabbed my shoulders and turned me towards him. "Hermione, look at me. You mean the world to me. I won't let you go through this alone. Hell, 'Mione, I love you. Why can't you just let me help you?"

"You shouldn't love a murderer, Harry. It wouldn't do you any good," I stated looking him in the eye.

"I don't love a murderer. I love my best friend, the person who was always there for me when I needed her most, the trustworthy, loyal, passionate, intelligent girl I have known for years. I love you, Hermione Jean Granger, and believe me when I say this, you are not a murderer!"

Harry brought his hands up to the sides of my face. He looked me straight in the eye and then bent his head down to mine. Just before our lips touched, he whispered, "God, I love you, Hermione."

The kiss was gentle and sweet, but held so much passion that there was no mistaking what kind of kiss it was.

It was a true lover's kiss; a kiss that only people in complete and utter love could ever experience.

As we separated our lips, I spoke, "I love you too, Harry."

**A/N:**** Well there's my second one-shot. I hope you enjoyed it. Yes, I know that it was short, but I was happy with the way it turned out. Please leave me a review!**

**Thanks so much for reading!**

**Au Revoir!**

**RoryAceHayden147**


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